Murphy O’s Breastfeeding Law: The Postman Knows My Nipples …


The Sun King is here and a wonderful stage in the life of the little newcomer begins for me: the breastfeeding period. Why and why I breastfeed, I leave it out here, everyone can do and feed whatever they want, but Breastfeeding has a special meaning for me and I enjoy it to the fullest. At least that’s what I try, but unfortunately it’s not really easy for us ambitious nursing mothers. I am not talking about those who are opposed to breastfeeding or the very conservative old women who find it offensive to feed a baby on the breast. The enemy is much closer than you think!

Oasis of calm for breastfeeding

After the heir to the throne was born, my dear midwife gave me some helpful advice on breastfeeding: Create an oasis of calm, make yourself comfortable, add a glass of water and enjoy the calm and relaxed atmosphere with your baby. Wonderful isn’t it? That is the theory. Today, when my fourth child is breastfeeding, I have to say: NOT THAT! Something is always going to spoil my tour, Murphy is still the law!

Stylish oasis: a comfortable armchair and lots of peace and quiet

Difficulty level N1: Breastfeeding while the doorbell and mobile phone ring

As soon as you get comfortable something happens that destroys my idyllic style. My little oasis of calm is usually my sofa. So I grab little Sun King and a glass of water, roll over on the corner of the couch, swing a nursing pillow around us, and place the baby mwith a lion king gesture on the nursing pillow, rummage through my shirt and voila. These are already some steps in preparation, considering that young human animals are not necessarily characterized by patience. As soon as the eyes are opened, the siren sounds, as if hunger is imminent.

So it’s important to hurry, but that’s when it happens! Ding-dong, the doorbell rings. Shit … do I really have to go? I wouldn’t panic already emerging wait for the diaper to be delivered by mail (not an unimportant event with three children changing diapers …) I would stay seated. But no, I have to go there. So everything packed up again, the screeching creature tossed over his shoulder and toward the door. Once there, however, there is a lady who is not dressed in yellow and does not have a package for me, but she gives me a catalog with offers of frozen food. Unimpressed by my son’s screams, she would like to recite his saying. Right now?! “It’s wrong right now”, she doesn’t seem to be able to stop him either, so I tell her loud and clear that I can’t understand her anyway and close the door.

As soon as I sit on the couch again (I go to get water, sit down, nursing the pillow, put the baby on the floor, open blank) the doorbell rings again. Isn’t it… Hoping to see the postman this time, I pack all the body parts again, ignore the Sun King’s now angry gaze, and run towards the door again. Furthermore, our postman is a particularly friendly example (we call him Graf Grantig) and it is always a pleasure to hear his complaints. In fact, said postman is standing in front of the door with a large package and complaining “Housewives always take longer to get to the door.” I briefly consider whether I should offer her to go to the door with swollen breasts next time, but then I think her bad mood is probably due to the lack of contact with female breasts and I prefer to let her stay. You don’t want to overwhelm the poor.

Back on the couch, I ignore the ringing phone (why is there a call list?) And finally try to feed my son. Out of the corner of my eye I can still see the cat fishing with its dirty paw in my glass of water. Anyway, I’d rather dry off than get up again!

Ready for difficulty level 2? Breastfeeding while older siblings are at home.

If you have just got into position, or the water bottle is suddenly emptied and the older child is half dehydrated writhing on the floor, a toy is not working properly or one twin hits the other on the hat and they both have to be comforted. While you are now sitting on the couch nursing and reading children’s books, framed on the right and left by the Zwonkies lovers, the heir to the throne sneaks out of the living room 3 minutes later. clear voice to announce deafening screams, who is sitting in the bathroom waiting for the service. You have to make sure that you can stop listening to it. Throwing my principles overboard for a moment, I yell at him “Come now!” And I think about how I can save myself from the situation.

Are you perhaps wearing briefs today that you can do without? No, I’m not going to be mother of the year anyway, but I can’t do that. Can you wait for the little breastfeeding? Then your legs will probably fall asleep and you will bluntly fall off the toilet, which is not an option either. Since he gets loud once again, I might have forgotten his concern in the meantime, I get up on the mountain from the baby, the nursing pillow and the twins and save my firstborn from the bathroom.

What do we learn from it?

If you want to breastfeed in peace, create an oasis of calm – fenced in with barbed wire and soundproofed!

Do you want the newsletter? So like this:

Guest author Neffa writes here. More from Neffa? Then click on the picture!