Schwanger

“Oh shit” and other stupid phrases you don’t want to hear when you’re pregnant with twins …

Schwanger

Yes! I wish twins, which really exist! Even before my husband and I were actively involved in family planning (so aptly by some “Baby boot camp” called), we liked the idea of ​​having twins. Every time we saw a twin car go by We smiled at each other and made our own joke. When we discovered during the first ultrasound with baby number 2 in 2015 that he or she would carry our number 3 directly in carry-on luggage, we could hardly keep a secret for the first few weeks. but we bravely resist until the twelfth week.


We eagerly awaited the incredulous faces of friends and family ”. Do you REALLY get a double pack ?! Many were as excited as us, but the reactions were partly different from what we knew about crumb number one and waited again. Most of the comments were positive (yes, of course, babies are great!), But this time there was another species of people among the supporters, that we with our “Einling” had not known: The Grumpy One! The first reaction among colleagues, acquaintances and even many strangers was: â € œOh shitâ € ¦â €

What we had not considered in our euphoria was that having twins had to be a kind of punishment. Bad karma or a bad April Fool joke. Anyone who has been an unpleasant old man in his previous life, who has stolen pacifiers from children or who has not thrown balls over the fence, will be punished with twins in the next life. I don’t even want to write what you have to do with the triplets, that is surely detailed in the penal code. Curmudgeons appear everywhere, often completely unexpectedly, and pollute the anticipatory mood (sometimes unintentionally) with their inappropriate expressions. They exist between colleagues, between friends, even between complete strangers or, in the worst case, in your own family. There are the most colorful personalities among the grumpy, here is a little idea:

The insecure

The insecure are characterized by trying to find out with a concentrated look what reaction would be appropriate. Most of the time the question remains to ???? Y? Are you happy? We respond with “Yes, sure” the concentrated look is replaced by a subtle and false smile and the baby gossip can begin. Rather inexperienced specimens of this genus like to hold hands in front of their mouths in the old-fashioned Fraulein Rottenmeier way, suppress an embarrassed giggle, and then continue as above.

The interrogators

Sentences like “How did THAT happen ?!” I know the correct answer to that question would be “Sexual relations”. My favorite answer would be “????We just did a little voodoo ritual, then by candlelight at midnight a cat bathed in baby shampoo and it happened. Sadly, I’m afraid few people appreciate this kind of humor, so I’ll limit myself to a subtle smile (learned from the insecure) and change the subject. By the time he had a funny answer like this, the questioner would probably be over the top.

mamablog always screams

“Someone Always Screams” features everything worth knowing about twins on the blog. Do you want information about twin pregnancy? You can find them in the “Pregnant with twins” guide.

The conspiracy theorists

When asked, How did THAT happen? These ladies and gentlemen already have an answer ready. Questions like “Did you help?”, “Did they arise naturally?” and “Are you sure there are (only) two?” shows very clearly that mental cinema has already exploded in this genre. For the next peer chat or a spectacular “I know what you don’t know what you don’t know” appearance at a coffee party, it’s not enough if you can only report on a boring twin pregnancy. No, we need conspiracy background information immediately. Artificial insemination? If so, are there photos of them or are there witnesses to refer to? The belly is so big, there are definitely three in it, at least! If you assure him that the children came naturally and that there is nothing more to say, they will quickly let go of it and then make their guesses together with other conspiracy theorists. The result is usually presented by distant acquaintances in completely inappropriate situations (preferably on the playground or even more popular at Aldi on the box) in the highest possible tone: “Hello, I heard! ¶Rt you get tripletseeeeeee? Great! ????

The admirers

Of course, this type of person… in 98% of the cases men â ???? It’s not negative about twins, they just express it in a way that pregnant women find inappropriate. My husband was patted on the shoulder in admiration and was greeted effusively with the words “Hey, well done.” Y “Well, the man can do something”. Yes, my husband can do something. You can have twins, which definitely deserves applause. Nothing against my husband, but who gives me a pat on the shoulder? I was also involved in the action. In my mind, I see my husband in a soccer jersey running across a soccer field at those times, fans line up to clap and pat him on the butt in Bundesliga style. Well done boy!

Curiosity

As the name suggests, the curious are curious. Worse still, they can’t help but be forced to learn as many intimate details as possible. While I was refueling, a friendly middle-aged lady asked me if I would have twins (given my size, the guess was pretty close at this point). When I said yes, she smiled all over her face and asked “Oh great, are you planning to give birth vaginally?” Uff, what do you say? Am I getting distracted from the topic and hope she doesn’t notice? Do I play dead and wait for it to go away by itself? I would love to give you a witty answer to the “For details on my private parts, you should ask my husband, he knows besta ???? accountant, but anyone who knows me knows that I am as resourceful as an anesthetized sloth. Just before hibernation. So I babbled stupid things and tried tricks to get rid of the blush from prenatal class. It didn’t work.

Motivators

There are many of them! The classic “But you have a lot of work to do with three children”, I heard a lot, also with pleasure in the increase “How are you going to do everything with three? Children? ???? or in the superlative “three children ?! You can’t do that at all! ????. If I can. Pretty good actually. And thank you very much for your trust 😉

The insensitive

For many fellow citizens, the topic of pregnancy is a book with seven stamps. However, what should have reached the last inhabitant of the socially isolated forest is the following idea: Pregnant women are really sensitive! Every little thing can lead to uncontrolled bursts of tears, after a certain point you feel like an obese penguin with a bad back and constantly worry 24 hours a day about the life to be born, which I hope is peaceful. ¤chst. So how do people come up with the idea of ​​telling a future mother pseudo-medical facts like “With twins, one is often disabled”? or – I know someone who knows someone else and in it one twin strangled the other with the umbilical cord!a ???? to sweeten the day? A little tip from someone who knows the way: stupid idea …

The suicide

They really exist and they all share the same (old) saying to ???? Twins? I … ???? Shoot me! to ????. Well then please.

The compassionate

“Oh sorry”, “You really couldn’t have expected that” and “My God, then you have three kids” show how compassionate people are capable of giving. The main reason for the exuberant pity of some was simply the fact that we no longer had the chance of the classic mother-father-two-child constellation. Now we were outside of German standards or what these ladies and gentlemen think they are. Most of them were even more astonished when we told them we didn’t have to move or add an extension, as we already had three children’s rooms and we don’t want to discount numbers 4 and 5 either.

The list could go on and on with people who just don’t react the way we would like, but let’s just leave them as they are and be a little happier ourselves.

All in all, the serious congratulations far outweighed and we also learned to deal with the compassionate ones with the times, some of them even found us very cute in their ignorant and clumsy way. And if I had to judge now, after 10 months, who is right? we had, the nice ones or my husband and I, so I just look in the stroller, I give my husband an admiring pat on the butt and say: “You take the cat, I take the shampoo.”

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How did friends and family react when they found out that she was having twins? I await the answers in the comments!

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