A declaration of love to male offspring from the point of view of a young mother totally in love.
I honestly have to admit when I found out I was Expecting two guys, I was a bit disappointed.. No braided hairstyles. Summer hats with flowers are not allowed. There are no discussions about the first crush. Don’t buy a wedding dress while drinking Prosecco at the same time. In my mind I saw myself sitting in a bleacher on the icy soccer field wearing stinky shoes, hissing in my mouth and pulling pounds of undercooked meat off the grill. Yes I’m a boy mom….
As it was clear to me that I would have to be very melancholic or drunk to have another child, I said goodbye to my whole world of girls. Because with two thugs you can’t get drunk anymore … and you’re more manic than melancholic.
Sure, these typically male and typically female drawers no longer fit today. But they cannot be completely ruled out. It’s easier to recognize yourself in your own gender. You also know I still do exactly what I thought was cool in the past: whether it’s with books, clothes, or toys. Somehow you have more experience with that … My male offspring have dolls, of course, but everything that has wheels and buttons is much more interesting. Blowing and burping is also incredibly fun. The basic rule is simple: the higher the better. The more the fart sucks, the more fun it is. Everything has the same entertainment value as a movie, but is cheaper.
When the two of you have a choice between a teddy bear and a flashing dinosaur, the choice is very clear. And the mud is also incredibly attractive. Like slippery earthworms. They also seem to taste good …
Whistle purple fairy wings!
Relatively soon â ???? before the birth, but then I had enlightenment: it was probably when I was in a toy store on a pink plush cloud with Barbies and Hello Kitty. Or was it while I was shopping for clothes that I saw the glittering fairy wings in the girls’ department? It flashed like lightning through the coils of my brain: Thank goodness I saved that pink stuffed poop! Now I like dinosaurs and rockets, I think dump trucks, knight’s castles and pirates are cool. And, I have to admit, I was laughing recently when one of my sons farted. By the way, I like steaks with blood and I think it’s fine anyway, if it is not sterilized clean with us….
The best of my male offspring? I don’t need to share my oversized shoe closet in the anteroom, because the stinky slippers are removed at the front door.
Yes, I’m just a real mom!
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