Why it’s great to have kids O: No pink plush poop

A declaration of love to male offspring from the point of view of a young mother totally in love.

I honestly have to admit when I found out I was Expecting two guys, I was a bit disappointed.. No braided hairstyles. Summer hats with flowers are not allowed. There are no discussions about the first crush. Don’t buy a wedding dress while drinking Prosecco at the same time. In my mind I saw myself sitting in a bleacher on the icy soccer field wearing stinky shoes, hissing in my mouth and pulling pounds of undercooked meat off the grill. Yes I’m a boy mom….

As it was clear to me that I would have to be very melancholic or drunk to have another child, I said goodbye to my whole world of girls. Because with two thugs you can’t get drunk anymore … and you’re more manic than melancholic.

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Sure, these typically male and typically female drawers no longer fit today. But they cannot be completely ruled out. It’s easier to recognize yourself in your own gender. You also know I still do exactly what I thought was cool in the past: whether it’s with books, clothes, or toys. Somehow you have more experience with that … My male offspring have dolls, of course, but everything that has wheels and buttons is much more interesting. Blowing and burping is also incredibly fun. The basic rule is simple: the higher the better. The more the fart sucks, the more fun it is. Everything has the same entertainment value as a movie, but is cheaper.

When the two of you have a choice between a teddy bear and a flashing dinosaur, the choice is very clear. And the mud is also incredibly attractive. Like slippery earthworms. They also seem to taste good …

Whistle purple fairy wings!

Relatively soon â ???? before the birth, but then I had enlightenment: it was probably when I was in a toy store on a pink plush cloud with Barbies and Hello Kitty. Or was it while I was shopping for clothes that I saw the glittering fairy wings in the girls’ department? It flashed like lightning through the coils of my brain: Thank goodness I saved that pink stuffed poop! Now I like dinosaurs and rockets, I think dump trucks, knight’s castles and pirates are cool. And, I have to admit, I was laughing recently when one of my sons farted. By the way, I like steaks with blood and I think it’s fine anyway, if it is not sterilized clean with us….

The best of my male offspring? I don’t need to share my oversized shoe closet in the anteroom, because the stinky slippers are removed at the front door.

Yes, I’m just a real mom!

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Book Tips for Young Parents (link leads to Amazon Partner Program):

Mama Son Book: What do we do now? – Great ideas for great mothers.

Children need clear instructions: a guide for childhood, school, and the wild years.

Boys !: How They Grow Up Happy (by the author of the world bestseller “The Secret of Happy Children”).
Children !: Instructions for use for mothers.

More about the subject

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